God Flicked The Switch And The Moon Lit Up

God flicked the switch and the moon lit up. God had never seen such a bright light. He wondered how long it would last. Then he got up off the sofa and walked into the kitchen. God opened the fridge...Nothing. It seemed Jesus had forgotten to go food shopping. "God damn", said God, then he remembered the Hawaiian pizza in the freezer. God's tummy grumbled so he hurriedly put the pizza in the microwave and pressed the button.

From somewhere close by a dog barked. God was surprised and somewhat confused. He did not own a dog. He twitched the lace curtain and peeked outside. A stray mutt was digging holes in his yard.
"Oh God", muttered God, banging his head against the window pane. Then the microwave binged and God decided pizza was more important.

Car

Your car is a deathtrap
A human eater
A roadkill greater
Satan's seven seater

Your car is a deathtrap
A gas guzzling
Exhaust making
Lake polluting
Tree hitting
Monster

Your car is a death trap, a road ragging drunk
It's battered and broken and smells worse than a skunk
Your car is not safe to be driven around
So I ordered it away
To be held and Impounded
Turned into scrap and continuously ground
Into a pile of junk no more than a mound

I'm really so sorry but there ain't no way 'round it
No more will the evil of Satan surround it

Your car is a death trap

The Sun Is My Friend

The Sun is my friend.
It whispers warm secrets to me.
Knowing I will not share them.
I hear about the martians on Mars.
And how Saturn has lost one of her rings.
And Venus's new lover...